I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
