I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this hospital has no fireball
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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