I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
