I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
