Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
