my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize