Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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