My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
