i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
