If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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