Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is wine microwaveable?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
