Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
