Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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