So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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