UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
