I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
