Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
