I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
