I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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