Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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