I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
