this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
