I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
