I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
