ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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