Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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