...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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