I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
