Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
