we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
