Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
