Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
