problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i believe in u and ur pee
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
