I wish life had little blips of pornography
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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