Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
