god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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