hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There r osticjed everywhere
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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