the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
