Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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