did i walk over a car last night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
