ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Say something about gay babies.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
