Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
