I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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