kristin has been a bad kristin
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
