The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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