Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
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My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
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When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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