I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
