I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
