If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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