I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
