So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
