READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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