it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
