just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
