Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
