Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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