can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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