Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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