i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize