why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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